What Your Cat Thinks Of You
Meow! It's Charlie. Today I’m going to tell you what your cat thinks of you.
In short, you are our slave.
“A slave?” you may ask. “I’m not a slave. I own you.” But that’s where you’re wrong.
A slave is someone who works for another person - or in this case, a cat - without pay. Humans don’t get any pay from taking care of their cat/s – they actually lose money. You spend all of your money on us: cat food, treats, litter, brushes, toys, even giant structures that take up your whole living room! Silly humans!
Around the 9th century, humans introduced a feudal system to their way of life. At the bottom of this social ladder were the serfs (which are essentially slaves). The serfs would work on their master’s land in exchange for food and safety. The same concept has been implemented in every household with a cat. The human works for the cat – brushing us, feeding us, etc. in exchange for being able to enjoy our cuteness.
Our cuteness is the reason humans don’t even mind being servants. We are born with a cuteness that most humans simply can’t deny. We have evolved to have these cuteness traits for the sole purpose of attracting human servants. As long as we have servants, we’ll have an endless supply of food, treats, pets, and blurry pictures.
Humans, thinking they are the masters of the household, have tried for years to train the cat. “Fluffy, roll over! Sit! Come here!” Sound familiar? Cats are very strong-willed. We will not back down from our position at the top. We act on our own terms. We sleep where we want, scratch what we want, and do what we want, whenever we want. When we meow, you feed us and pet us. When you mutter a command, we don’t even as much as look at you. Still think you’re the leader of the pack?
In fact, cats have humans wrapped so tightly around our paws that we have you trained to clean a box full of poop! Watching your horrified face as you wonder what we possibly could have eaten to concoct such a smell is the highlight of our day.
How sweet do we have it?
