If Cats Rule the World, Why Are They in Pounds?

Meow! It’s Charlie. Today we’ll be discussing jail.

“It’s called the pound, Charlie.”

As I said, jail.

I’ve been in jail before. I myself was a “pound cat” (no, this is not a reference to my fat days). I barely survived. I was in there for two weeks before Mom came along. If it weren’t for her I wouldn’t be writing this today.

The best way I can explain The Pound is by calling it a jail. You’re locked up in a small cell with bars. There’s nobody to scratch your chin or brush your tail. No beds to nap on. There isn’t anyone to talk to, other than the grumpy animals in the other cells. The whole place smells, and the food tastes awful.

“But Charlie, you said cats rule the world. If cats do rule the world, why are so many of them in pounds?”

To you I say, haven’t you ever heard of hostages?

A hostage is someone who is kidnapped and held until someone gives the captors something, usually money. If the kidnappers aren’t given what they asked for, they will often kill the captive.

This is how I would describe dog and cat catchers. We’re just out and about trying to provide food for ourselves, when along comes a cat catcher with a net. I try to run but he scoops me up with the net anyways. He imprisons me in the back of his white, window-less van (haven’t you ever seen a spy movie? Criminals ALWAYS use white window-less vans!!) and takes me to a horrible place, filled with other prisoners. He then locks me up until someone pays for me. If no one comes to help me when I’m imprisoned, they’ll put me down.

According to ASPCA, nearly 2.7 million animals are euthanized every year. More cats get put down than dogs, and more dogs get adopted than cats. As the holidays approach, many people are buying dogs or cats from breeders. Please consider adopting. Thank you.