Weird Things Humans Do

Meow! It's Charlie. Today I'm going to be listing just a few of the many, many weird things that humans do.

1. Lie

Why do humans feel the need to lie to each other? Why can’t humans just come together and share their plans for world domination to achieve it together with other humans? I guess that’s why cats rule the world.

2. Alter their body

Some humans have giant lips or chest bumps. Why do they make their body look funny this way? Cats never alter their body and look how beautiful we are.

3. Cry

Human? Human, why are your eyes drooling? Your whole body is shaking, too. And you’re making weird noises. Did you eat too much catnip?

4. Kiss

Oh yeah, swapping spit is romantic. Ick. If you’re so anxious to use that tongue of yours why don’t you bathe each other like cats do? Then at least you’ll be clean.

5. Shave

I honestly cannot fathom why humans would purposefully shave all their hair off. Maybe they’re trying to look like sphinx cats.

6. Go on adventures

Why take risks when you could take a nap? Why go on adventures when you could go eat some kibble? If you must do something, maybe instead of risking your life bungee jumping you could catch a mouse.

7. Wear clothes

Why do humans wear clothes? Is it because they shave off all of their fur? If they would stop making themselves bald maybe they wouldn’t have to spend all that money on uncomfortable fabric.

And for Pete’s sake please don’t dress us up. Just because you feel bad about being bald and having to wear clothes doesn’t mean we should.

8. Go to “work” or on vacations – or just generally do stuff

Work? School? Why do you ever need to leave the house? All I can say is, every time I’ve left the house I’ve been taken to the vet.

Thanks for reading! What are weird things you or your human do? Comment below! Chow!