I've Been Framed - Couch Addition
Meow! It's Charlie. Here's a conversation between Mom and me after I totally didn't scratch up her brand new couch while she was away!
Mom: Charlie!! Why did you scratch the couch?
Charlie: It was Onyx!
Mom: There was white fur on the floor and on the couch!
Charlie: I’ve been framed! Onyx has white hair!
Mom: On his paws and belly. Besides, he hasn’t ever done this before and I know you like to sharpen your claws on the couch.
Charlie: On his face too! And there is a first time for everything!
Mom: Onyx is outside.
Charlie: You know the screen door is broken - he could have sneaked back in! Hey wait, the screen door is broken! Let’s go yell at Jett! She broke it!
Mom: Take responsibility for your own actions, Charlie.
Charlie: What actions? I have done no actions the past week. Did you know cats have to sleep at least 16 hours a day? I usually sleep about 20.
Mom: How can you possibly sleep that much? Doesn’t it get boring- wait, don’t get off topic! Why did you scratch the couch?
Charlie: Even if I did, who buys a scratching post made of microfiber?
Mom: It isn’t a scratching post, Charlie, it’s a couch!
Charlie: Doesn’t matter. Everything in the house is mine, so I can do what I please with it.
Mom: Just because you live here does not make everything yours.
Charlie: It doesn’t?
Mom: No.
Charlie: Well it has to be somebody’s and you just live here.
Mom: I bought this house with my own money!
Charlie: Congratulations. We should celebrate with tuna and milk.
Mom: Charlie, you know you aren’t allowed to have tuna.
Charlie: Why not? It’s my house!
Mom: Charlie!
Charlie: Hey look! The goats are in the yard!
Mom: You aren’t getting off the hook this time Charlie. I know they can fit through the fence.
Charlie: I know, we should go down to the barn and feed them. It’s almost dark you know.
Mom: It’s 1pm.
Charlie: Only six more hours of light! We could go nap in the sun.
Mom: I don’t like to nap on concrete. I like to nap on my couch. Oh wait, I can’t. Because you destroyed it!!
Charlie: On the bright side, we’re getting a new couch!
Thanks for reading! Just to clarify, I did scratch the couch, but it isn't destroyed. Chow!
