Why Cats Would Make Terrible Employees
Meow! It's Charlie. Today I'm going to list some reasons why cats would make terrible employees (but you already knew that if you read the title!).
1. Cats refuse to wear uniforms.
Generally speaking, most cats don't like to wear clothes. Or even hats. They would always be messing with their uniforms trying to get them off or not even wear clothes at all. I'm not sure how well a business would do if none of the employees wore clothes.
2. Cats are bossy.
I'm a cat so I'm allowed to say that we're bossy, because it's true. Anyone who is not a cat is not allowed to call a cat bossy (just so that's clear). But cats are bossy - we like things to go how we want it. We'd make much better bosses than employees.
3. Cats hide. A lot.
Cats hide a lot. Whenever our bosses need us to do something important, we would run to the nearest box and not come out until dinner time.
4. Cats bathe themselves (and others) in public.
Nobody wants to go to work and watch their coworkers lick their behinds. Or worse, offer to lick other employees behinds. I have a feeling cats would spend a lot of time in human resources.
5. Cats would start and end their shift whenever they feel like it.
Cats are on nobody's schedule. We don't even have schedules.
6. Cats don't listen.
Cats don't follow rules. The rules obviously don't apply to them. If their boss asked them to do something they would simply respond with a click of the tail.
7. Cats would constantly take breaks.
In fact, our entire shifts could be called breaks. Yeah, that sounds more like it - one long break.
8. Cats are easily distracted.
There are so many distractions in an office. There are paper clips, paper balls, pen caps - and forget about cats being productive if a machine all of a sudden starts shooting out paper!
9. Cats would sleep on the job.
Most people don't appreciate an employee or coworker sleeping on the job. I doubt cats would be any different. Do you really think cats would be able to pull off a nap-free shift? And when we awake we would be angry at our fellow cat coworkers for also sleeping!
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Chow!
