How To Cat

Meow! It's Charlie. Today I'm going to teach you how to be (or at least act like) a cat in six simple steps!

Note: This post was inspired by an internet comic which I am not taking credit for.

Step 1: As soon as anyone gets up from their spot sitting down, immediately steal their spot and act as if you’ve been there forever. Make sure to look super comfortable and cute so they won’t move you.

Whaaat? No, I've been here the whole time!

Step 2: Perfect the telepathic wake-up stare. Every cat has one. All you have to do is stare at your human while they are sleeping and think, “Wake up, wake up, WAKE UP!!” And soon enough, they will wake up to see you staring at them!

Wake up, wake up, WAKE UP!!

Step 3 (optional as some cats don’t like coming into contact with people): Why sleep alone? Human faces make good cushions. They even come with heating pads!

(No picture here because I'm not a very social cat and Mom would be too happy if I were to lay on her. )

Step 4: Have an imagination! Preferably at 3 am. Slay all of the imaginary mice by running and pouncing all over the house in the middle of the night. Your human/s will often awake and join in the running and yelling! How fun!

The play dough is attacking!

Step 5: Always wake your human up in the middle of the night to let them know you are okay. Otherwise they may worry! It is the responsible thing to do.

I will poke you until you wake up!!

Step 6: When your human calls your name, never EVER respond. Simply close your eyes and play it cool.

Me? Whaaaat? No. I didn't hear you call. I would NEVER ignore you!

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed learning how to cat! Chow!