Funny Animal Stories (part two)
Meow! It's Charlie. Today I am sharing more funny animal stories! If you want to check out the website where I found them, click here: www.fmylife.com/animals?page=0
Today, after 6 months away, I came home to find out my mom has essentially untrained my dog by spoiling him rotten. She has, however, taught him to fart on command.
Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now.
Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor.
Today, my friends renamed my dog, “Dog Vader.“ Yes, my dog has asthma.
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive.
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan.
Today, my house key jammed inside the lock, which would've been annoying even if I hadn't been desperately running from my neighbor's psycho pitbull at the time.
Today, my cat refuses to drink from any source of water that isn't the toilet.
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone.
Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life.
Today, my dog apparently vomited straight down a heating vent while I was out. The stench was so bad that when I got home and the smell hit me, I threw up too. Looks like I'll be spending a few days with my mother as the house airs out.
Today, I thought it would be nice to take my obese dog for a walk, since she hasn't had one in a long time. She was doing great, until we were about a mile from our house. She plopped down on the ground and wouldn't move. Nobody was home so I had to carry her all the way back to our house.
Today, I took my dogs to the park and sat in the grass while they played. Within the first half hour two male dogs peed on my back. The first owner apologized and gave me a wipe to clean up while the second one had the nerve to tell me "this is why I bring a chair"
Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it.
Today, I noticed my cat was making a loud wheezing noise when trying to breathe, so I rushed him to the vet's. $250.00 worth of tests later, he's fine. Just really fat.
Thanks for reading! If you guys want me to post more funny animal stories, make sure to tell me in the comments below. Merry Christmas! Chow!
